We're like a lot better than the average bears
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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