I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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