I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
false alarm. still invincible.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
