dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
