Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
