My brain says no but my pants say off.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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