I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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