I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I need to sanitize my soul.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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