Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
