I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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