Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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