Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
