you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
