U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I wish life had little blips of pornography
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Randomize
