im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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