Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
