Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Randomize
