i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
When are your genitals available?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
