Moan for me like Helen Keller
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
