i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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