Just fell off a train. Bad.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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