I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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