I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
