And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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