I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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