why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
