About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
