I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Randomize