Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
