ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
