The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
