So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
