I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
