You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
