what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
