im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
