I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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