Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
