The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
