I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
