do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
