if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
You're a waste of cheezeits
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I am one with the molecules
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
