he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
