If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
