dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
