I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
