batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
