office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I want to fling myself into the sun
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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