she woke up with a sticky ear
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
