How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
from now on my penis is your penis
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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