grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Randomize
