I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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