but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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