We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
